2009 UNSEXIEST MEN
OUR ANNUAL LOOK AT THE MOST KARMICALLY BANKRUPT MEN ON THE PLANET
_BY PHOENIX STAFF
To the masses, unsexiness is defined in superficial ways — pores big enough to drive Hummers through, and hair that grows like kudzu in unwanted places, and unexplained protuberances. Think Danny Bonaduce or Carrot Top (or virtually any man you can think of with red hair). To the faceless myrmidons here at Phoenix Unsexy Headquarters, however, unsexiness is an altogether different quality, defined instead by gypping jillions out of charities or punching your girlfriend or yelling at your cinematographer.
Our annual survey of the year’s Unsexiest Men is a corrective to this sort of deplorable behavior. Assembled by a watchful team with a low tolerance for hypocrisy, wastefulness, and unfunny comedians, our list holds men accountable for their rampantly unsexy ways. Consider this list a compendium of social subpoenae from the High Court of Sexiness.
