Girls, it’s sort of like if your prom date showed up in a helicopter, handed you the bill, and then asked you... READ MORE

This Beverly Hills gyno has no excuse for inseminating “octo-mom” Nadya Suleman with an eight-kid litter. Of course, looking at this Telly-Savalas-meets-Dr.-Evil, it suddenly... READ MORE

To paraphrase his own now infamous expletive-laced tantrum: what the fuck was Bale doing when he launched that embarrassing, inhumane tirade on... READ MORE

CNBC’s Jim Cramer is the Jenna Jameson of financial reporting: the more the economy took it in the rear, the louder his screams... READ MORE

We’re not sure exactly what is driving teenage girls — and Paula Abdul — to make this Broadway-hack, balls-in-a-vice belter the early favorite... READ MORE

An Illinois governor is alleged to have put a vacant US Senate seat up for sale? We’re shocked, shocked . In his defense,... READ MORE

And here everyone thought his wife divorced him because he was allegedly pinch-hitting with a pop star. Turns out Major League Baseball’s holier-than-thou, all-natural... READ MORE

It didn’t take much for New York magazine to Photoshop this sociopathic Arthur Ponz-arelli into the Joker — just a little lipstick.... READ MORE

Seems like yesterday that Chris Brown was just another cute, precocious R&B comer with an unfortunate overbite and an uncanny knack for mimicking Michael... READ MORE

America’s ugliest moment of 2009? Rush Limbaugh, his man-boobs a-jiggle, bouncing at the CPAC podium to bask in the sickly glow of conservatism’s orgy... READ MORE